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Thursday 20 February 2014

I'm not sure, and that's okay.

More of a reflective, slightly nebulous piece - apologies in advance. So I had the pleasure of listening to Mark O’Connell speak on ambivalence on a Four Thought podcast (the perfect accompaniment to a tipsy walk home in the early hours), and his strikes me as a valuable message for all, even in policy debates about development (yeah I can shoehorn anything into ‘being relevant to development’).

So in a nutshell, ambivalence is simultaneously holding two incompatible beliefs, the uncertainty of having mixed feelings about an issue. Ours is not the age of ambivalence, O’Connell points out: we inhabit a world of 'omniscient' politicians, of Ted Talks with a single take-home message, and of eight clear MDGs.

Academically I’ve had some experience of this. I’m currently doing some research into managerialism in NGOs. This is the theory and practice of managers in development, an ideology which relies on assumptions of development as a linear, mechanistic process of change in a technical, scientific sense. In its most exaggerated forms, local context is abstracted away to produce a replicable ‘recipe for action’ which can fit neatly into a logical framework analysis. The managerialist logic is what motivates you to write up that nice report of your development project in which you iron out all the inconsistencies and present a clear problem-solution-implementation-success narrative, recounted by a coherent, objective self. Managerialism in this context is the antithesis of ambivalence.

But while certainty’s clearly useful when attempting to make and justify decisions, it can also be extremely problematic for thinking about development. Suppressing ambivalence and constructing a single narrative (of a project for instance) can reduce reality to a single set of ‘truths,’ preventing political engagement and contestation, and favouring the opinions of some as more legitimate than others. But not only is this approach dangerous in its implications, it is misguided in itself, as it fundamentally misrepresents human experience, of which ambivalence is a inherent feature, as O’Connell points out. In fact one thing I am certain of is that people are hopeless psychological bundles of mutually contradictory and illogical thoughts and opinions. This misrepresentation in turn means that the given development project is unlikely to produce successful outcomes, addressing as it does only part of reality.

And in my own personal case, too, I’ve felt the conflict between ambivalence and certainty quite strongly. Up to the last couple of years, I have unintentionally but systematically avoided firm opinions on issues short of the most obvious, especially in domestic politics. My strategy, which my friends/siblings/ex-girlfriends may recognise, has been either to say ‘I don’t know’ when pushed on something, or, if I know something about it, argue fervently against whatever my interlocutor is proposing. Often I’ve literally produced a counter-argument and immediately realised that I don’t actually believe what I’m saying. Some of the time I even have the good humour to admit it. Anyway more recently I’ve decided that facetiously sitting on the fence is not all that productive politics-wise so I’ve been doing things like reading and thinking and writing a blog to try to trace some lines in the sand. But I do get the sense sometimes I’m just arming myself with facts and arguments to shield myself with dogma (even progressive, internationalist, statistics-based dogma) and hide my own ambivalence.

So fittingly I’m not going to come to a conclusion, even one simply arguing for ambivalence. Perhaps proposing ambivalence as a guide when thinking about politics is just a dressed-up defence of ignorance and lack of reflection. But certainly in the narrow context of development policymakers and particularly NGOs constantly searching for results, legitimacy and funding, to recognise the inevitable plurality of potential opinions on even the apparently most certain of facts, will allow them to be more flexible in their offering and to de-centre themselves in the development process.

As O’Connell neatly ends his talk, “Have the courage of your own ambivalence”.

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